PRE WORK (Sour Gummy Bear)

I understand it, I get it, you're staring blankly at your essay, the only word you have written is “THE’ and now you are stumped. You already drank a coffee, but still you JUST don't feel anything. 

You may feel a little more awake, but you still don't feel any sort of motivation, any sort of creativity, any sort of umph to actually get shit done. You are just there, a shell of a person, drudging on by to just hopefully pass this next assignment. You are a shell of a person… just barely making it to lectures here and there, barely able to pay attention and taking notes feels like such a chore. 

School is draining, it's exhausting, it sucks. Trust me, I've been there. No matter what I tried, downing coffee, energy drinks, or the thought of adderall. Ya, maybe coffee takes the edge off and allows me to show up, but I am definitely not showing out. 

“I wish I could take something that not only woke me up but actually gave me energy. That actually gave me focus. That actually allowed me to think, learn, and to be a more efficient student.”

Enter Study Bear “Well, well, well….” (Study Bear has arrived) “A wish you say… You wish you could what?” 

Me- “Well Study Bear, I have 3 wishes…my first wish is that I wish i could have energy without feeling jittery, anxious or hyperactive” 

Study Bear - “I can make that happen for sure… what are your other two wishes” 

Me - “Well, Study Bear, I wish that not only could I have energy, but I could also have the actual brain functionality and the power to do work, like actually have my brain be able to think and learn better”.

“My final wish is the that I can have all these benefits such as smooth energy and enhanced cognition but I want to have it conveniently and budget-friendly.

Because Study Bear, I am a student after all. I hate waiting in lines for coffee, or going around the block to the coffee shop, or having to wait to brew coffee and make it. I just want that energy now, as soon as possible. And I want it without having to pay an arm and a leg like Starbucks… Like, are you kidding me? $9.00 for a fucking coffee, give me a break. I wish I could have an uplifting, smooth, cognitively stimulating energy that is convenient and cost-effective” 

Study Bear - “Your wish is my command.”

ENTER PRE WORK

PRE WORK is everything you will ever need to do homework. It has more energy than coffee and more brain-boosting supplements than energy drinks. Feel a smoother, cleaner, more condensed energy without the jitters with our ALL-Natural Caffeine extract from green tea combined with L-theanine.

Our super formula of clean caffeine and brain boosters will be the perfect solution to all your procrastination, brain fog, and hopeless exhaustion that you constantly feel. 

Think of PRE WORK like PRE WORKOUT but for homework and school.

Take 2 scoops in water and just mix it in your water bottle, a glass, and bring it anywhere you need. Keep it in your school bag, gym bag, hide it in your hat. Fuck it. It's your PRE WORK, do what you want with it. Drink our delicious, mouthwatering, liquid gold in a cup before any tedious cognitive task and enjoy brain functionality like you've never felt before.

Unlock areas of the brain that you've never felt, wake up neurotransmitters that were once laying dormant, fuel your brain with ultra premium gas. But this gas is PRE WORK, and trust me, its GASSSS.

With a list of the most scientifically proven NOOTROPICS or brain-boosting ingredients. You can trust that this drink will power you through long lectures, dull essays, and last-minute study sessions. 

Some Main benefits of PRE WORK that you don't find in regular caffeine products are:

1. Clean and smooth energy: With the supreme combo of Natural caffeine and l-theanine you will experience a clean energy like never before. Unlike the competition that uses synthetic, cheap caffeine anhydrous (boooo), we actually use caffeine from where it's supposed to come from (green tea) and mix it with a calming amino acid called L-theanine. Releasing alpha brain waves, you will experience a calm, serene, uplifting energy that will be perfect for any sort of task you take one. Without the jitters.

2. David Goggins Motivation: BOATS AND LOGS BOATS AND LOGS. Ya ya, shut up. Who tf is carrying a whole ass boat and a log, you know how heavy that shit is. Regardless, with our combination of neural activating NOOTROPICS. PRE WORK Stimulates dopamine, serotonin and acetylcholine so you can actually feel good for once. Ya, that's right, PRE WORK literally stimulates the happy chemicals in your brain. Not only will you feel energized, but you will literally feel on top of the world motivated like you can crush an essay or best any test (see what i did there with the rhyming… chicka chikcka slim shady) (oh ya im off the PRE WORK pack rn writing this… banged this sales page out in like 10 mins max) (this shiii is crazy).

3. Photographic Memory: Remember how I said that the NOOTROPICS or brain boosters added in PRE WORK literally stimulate your neurons. Ya well acetycholine is like the God neuron when it comes to being a good student. With the COMBO of NOOTROPICS, you can be assured that your brain will be firing on all cylinders, connecting memory pathways more efficiently. So you can actually remember what you studied instead of almost pushing out a log trying to think of what that flash card said. You'll know.

4. Proven to Increase Thinking and Learning Abilities: Isn't that nuts, this combo of brain enhancing ingredients in our meticulously crafted formula literally helps you think and learn better. Concisely, here's how: Clinical studies show Alpha GPC improves information processing, memory formation, and even verbal recall. Otherwise known as, “Wow my brain actually works”. 

5. Laser Focus and Concentration: The precise mix of neural-activators and our special energy matrix, combines to create a precision focus that you need to feel. After two scoops, you will feel like you have tunnel vision, you will feel like you can sit down for hours and just go nutz. No more doom scrolling (helps if you shut down your phone and throw it across the room) (not liable for damages, dont actually throw across room). But still you will feel more LOCKED-IN than you would after drinking coffee or energy drinks that either just make you jitter, crash or too hyperactive. Sit still and get shit done with PRE WORK

6. Ultra Convenient: No more waiting in stupid ass campus lineups just to get a shittily stirred and made coffee. No more showing up late to class and now everyone is staring at you as you are awkwardly hurdling through people to find your seat. No more dumb drive throughs where they fuck up your order. No more keurig, coffee pot that hasnt been cleaned since the day you got it and tastes like shit and takes 40 minutes. PRE WORK in a tub! Take it anywhere you go, simply put a scoop or two in your water mix and drink. And it's that easy, and it tastes like gummy bears. Yum.

7. Student-friendly: Everything in this fuckass world is way too damn expensive. Like wtf you're telling me some chicken costs 20 bucks, go fuck yourself Krogers. And if you don't wanna grocery shop? AWESOME LETS GO GET super yummy, great portioned and budget friendly campus food….. :) :) Fuck off. So we made PRE WORK as budget-friendly as we could without sinking the ship (Captain always goes down with the ship). And as of right now we are doing a student-only, special sale, so you can get your hands on and try PRE WORK for only $24.99 instead of $44.99. That's 20 fuckin bucks in savings, go get yourself some chicken.

My name is Benjamin, and I'm the pissed off dude who wrote this sales page at 1 am off that PRE WORK pack. All I want to do is make student life a lil easier cuz believe me ik how fuckin tough it is. Now that I have PRE WORK in my life, it has made it that much easier and doable. 

I am proud of this product, I am proud of my school work, I am proud of my success. That's why I take PRE WORK because it enables me to get shit done. School is tough, exhausting, and cruel. That's why you need a product that actually keeps up with it. Choose PRE WORK and notice how much it can change your life.

This aint your average cup of joe

This is PRE WORK

For a limited time ONLY I have this product marked all the way down. You are saving almost 50% OFF. I honestly might be dumb doing a sale this big, but I really want you to try it and succeed, so fuck it why not. 

Get yours now while supplies last and while this deal is going on (I'm living on the brink of bankruptcy).

Cheers,

Benjamin. A fellow suffering student. 

Now that you read that entire sales page and you havent bought yet, let me try something I learned in psychology class.

"Ahem... noooo don't buy it... nooo... its so bad..... I hate it.... noooo.... I definitely don't feel way more energized, productive, and less stressed..... nooooo it sucks.... nooo defintely don't leave me all the stock for myself.... nooo"

I think they called that reverse psychology, idk I fell asleep, I didnt have any PRE WORK.

Anyways, sale page guy out. 

Ingredients: L-Arginine HCl, Inositol, Alpha-GPC, Natural Caffeine (from Green Tea), L-Theanine, Asian Ginseng Extract, Black Pepper Extract, Thiamin (as Thiamine HCl), Riboflavin (Vitamin B2), Niacin (Vitamin B3), Vitamin B6 (as Pyridoxine HCl), Folate (as Folic Acid), Vitamin B12 (as Methylcobalamin), Pantothenic Acid (as D-Calcium Pantothenate), Citric Acid, Erythritol, Natural & Artificial Flavor, Sucralose, Calcium Silicate, Vegetable Juice Powder (for color).

Manufacturer's country: USA

Product amount: 5.82 oz / 0.36 lb / 165 g

Gross weight (oz/lb/g): 7.1 oz / 0.45 lb / 203 g

Suggested use: Mix 2 scoops (8 g) with 16 fl oz (480 mL) of water or adjust to taste.

Warning: Do not exceed more than 5 scoops within a 24-hour period. Not intended for use by individuals with a medical condition. Consult your physician before using this product if you are pregnant, nursing, or taking any medication.

Manufactured in a facility that processes milk, eggs, fish, shellfish, tree nuts, peanuts, wheat, soybeans, and sesame.

Store in a cool, dry place. Keep out of reach of children. Do not use if the safety seal is broken or missing. Contents are sold by weight, not volume; some settling may occur. Secure lid tightly when not in use. Consume within 90 days.

This product is intended to supplement a balanced diet and active lifestyle. Consult a healthcare professional before starting any new dietary supplement, especially if you are pregnant, nursing, have a medical condition, or are taking any medications.

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.